Quirky Black Girl!
Blog: Quirky Black Girl
I’ve always known who I was expected to be, but could never quite figure out who I truly was. And in the Black community, acting white, or quiet, or “weird” is the quickest way to be kicked off the block. You’re expected to agree with the group, sound like the group, look like the group, act like the group, eat like the group, listen to what the group listens to… And while I learned through church and school how to do all of these, I knew deep down that the real me would disrupt everything.
As Ive gotten older, I’ve come to learn that everyone is faking; that people act like herds of cows because on an evolutionary level, there is safety in numbers. And to operate outside of this perceived protection could mean death. We mindlessly act like the majority, we ignore our own hearts and souls, we do what we are told to do by those who act like they know more…but all to the death of our true selves. And that truth is: I NEVER felt protected. I never felt it was okay to explore the different sides and shapes of who I am.
More truth is: I love Enya and Rascal Flats for the warm emotional cruise I float away on. English period dramas immerse me into historical times of simplicity, elegance, grace and beauty and I am obsessed with British accents and fake one often! I adore Mozart and Bach for their majesty, and the timelessness of Big Band Swing Jazz, Nat King Cole, and Frank Sinatra’s class. Men today could learn from them on how to talk or sing to a lady! And then, the way the dark academia aesthetic seats me in a quiet library in the fall of Vermont where old heels clack on wooden floors. I can smell the books!
These loves and likes were broadcasted across my heart the more inner-work I did which solidified everything! And I’ve come to the realization that I am very much a quirky black girl! I am a bit amazing and I love me deeply! It took me so long to find me!
But as I continued on and began my own soft girl era, a lot of the gowrls leading the revolution had the same aesthetic! They all looked the same to me. They had the satin (or probably sateen) dresses and glowing skin, the wine flutes at expensive restaurants with designer handbags and bubble bath pictures galore. And while I remembered and indulged in those things more often, I realized something else—-that I was STILL not being my WHOLE genuine self. I LOVE bright colors because I want to glow in the dark! I love the vibrant and festive mood of beautiful material and fabrics; the sense of joy and love for life! How can I dress to match all of me; not just my “soft girl era”? And honestly, I don’t want to pump gas in sateen; it doesn’t hide my unmentionable midsection spillage. But I am happy, whole, beautiful, quirky, whimsical, a little glutton for cookies, and squishy to the touch, and I love it all! WE ALL CAN!!
Appreciate the uniqueness of YOUR soft girl era and resist the urge to “fit in”! Whether you are an eccentric beauty with polkadot toe polish, or an elegant laced-glove Claire Huxtable-type draped in scarves and brooches, I have just the things for you! There is no one-size fits all feminine journey so celebrate all that you are!
